


Undisclosed Desires

by AlyssAlenko



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Beards, F/M, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Innuendo, Love, Snark, Surprise feelings, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Undisclosed Desires - Freeform, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:08:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28546110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlyssAlenko/pseuds/AlyssAlenko
Summary: After saving Shepard and Crew from the active volcano on Therum, Joker comes to a startling realization about the nature of his and Shepard's relationship...too bad he won't get the chance to tell her...
Relationships: Jeff "Joker" Moreau/Female Shepard
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14
Collections: MEFFW Secret Santa Exchange 2020





	Undisclosed Desires

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BlackwatchAgent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackwatchAgent/gifts).



> A gift fic for the MEFFW Group. I hope you like it darling! Sorry it is a little late and that I didn't get the bonus points for him telling her he loved her! Enjoy!

The doors to the cockpit whooshed open behind Joker--Shepard always walked with purpose and came to talk to him after each mission, and by now, her footsteps were completely unmistakable. She just had this aura of power she exuded that didn’t come from her N7 training or the rank of Commander; it came from her very soul. He smiled a little; he'd started looking forward to their little chats and banter which always seemed to toe the line of friendly and flirty. But they both knew better than to cross that line, every reg against fraternization keeping them in check. Though each assignment was getting more dangerous, and he found himself nervously watching the feed from Shepard's armor cam when her boots were on the ground, concern with her safety and guilt eating away at him that he couldn't do anything. She kept throwing herself into dangerous situations and he could only watch helplessly from the sidelines and that was eating away at him, though he couldn't quite place why. He grabbed the bill of his hat and pulled it off his head before replacing the garment, using his nervous tick to hide the tremor in his hands.

"I prefer gold to silver. You know, for my medal. I figured you'd recommend me for one since I pulled your, uh, boots out of the fire."

"I'm not sure you want that." Shepard fired back, making Joker smirk and raise an eyebrow--daring her to explain. "If we present you with a medal, you'll end up sitting on stage listening to politicians making speeches for a couple hours."

"That's a good point. They'd probably make me shave, too. I spent the last seven weeks working on this baby." Joker mused, running his hands through his whiskers. "No medal's worth that."

"Right?" She patted his cheek fondly. "That was seven weeks well spent, if you want my opinion. The beard is sexy--just imagine the stubble burn it would leave."

Joker's mouth dropped open as Pressly called her away to look something over, Shepard sauntering away and leaving him alone in the cockpit with his thoughts, her comment lingering in the air between them. Had she really thought about  _ that _ with him? Well fuck, if he wasn't thinking about it now, too. Joker took a deep breath and bit the inside of his cheek. His innocent deflection so he didn't say how torn up he'd been about not having any radio contact until they emerged from an erupting active volcano on Therum, had taken a turn he hadn't expected; she'd gone a smidgen too far, but now the image was it was living rent free inside his head and stoking the fires of his indecent mind.

Joker would be the first to admit that he was very attracted to her—for more than just her looks, though those were incredible too.

It was her presence; Shepard was fiercely protective of everyone around her and inspired him to be better without even trying. It was one of the best things about her. She was funny, sarcastic, good, headstrong, determined and crazy sexy beautiful. She'd wormed her way into his life, and he found himself agonizing over the footage from her armor cam, just praying she made it back safely because he wasn't sure what he would do if she didn't. Caught himself waiting for her to come talk to him after a mission. Finding himself very aware of her presence and inadvertently taking deep lungfuls of the light, floral scent of her perfume. Not to mention, she could go toe to toe with him and not back down, matching his sarcasm and sardonic sense of humor with her own--a side of her only Joker got to see that she hid underneath her rank. It had only been a few months but she was quite possibly the one person in the galaxy that could keep up with him.

And he loved her.

Joker froze as the realization hit him, swearing quietly under his breath-- _ he loved her _ .

Jeff Moreau, the best damn helmsman in the Alliance fleet, who had always made it a point to hide his emotions behind humor as a way to never let someone see just how affected he was by anything, was suddenly feeling them all. Somewhere along the way he had fallen hard for Commander Shepard--his commanding officer--and if someone asked, he wouldn't even be able to pinpoint the exact moment it happened...and he couldn't even tell her about it. The regs against fraternization were very clear. It wasn't fair. Of course he had to figure it out at just about the least appropriate time, while they were chasing a madman and a rogue Spectre across the galaxy--without knowing if they were going to come out on the other side of all this. Joker turned his chair towards the open cockpit door and gazed at her across the CIC where she was laughing and talking with Pressly, running his fingers through his hair.

If anyone saw the way he was looking at their CO, blue-green eyes flicking down her body, taking in every curve and how she filled out her BDUs, they didn't show it. Not while he held their lives in his hands while at the helm. He sighed and turned back around, pressing the button on his console to close the door to the rest of the ship so he could be alone with his thoughts as he set course for Feros. He drummed his fingers against the arm of his chair, grabbing the bill of his cap and tossing the garment onto the console in front of him in frustration. All worked up and no outlet. It wasn't like him to be so worked up like this...but it also wasn't like him to be lusting after his best friend. He'd keep it professional--they had a job to do, and for now, he wouldn't let his emotions get in the way.

If they stopped Saren, he'd confront these feelings; sit her down and talk to her to see if there was any future to be had together...


End file.
